Attention Male Shoppers...

photo courtesy of tracey.blanco on flickr

Due to the fact that I am, against my free will, in the grocery store about forty three times a week, I am confident with labeling myself a heavy user of said establishment. On that note, I am going to use this space to express my grievances with the *MALE SHOPPER.

Now I know this write-up won't be deemed politically correct in (what is supposed to be) a gender-respected society, but there are some serious infractions that need to be addressed.

*note: I know there are some exceptions (Spanky, perhaps you're reading this) but I know this speaks for the majority:

1. When you (yes, I mean YOU - the male shopper) need to linger over a shelf's selection, park your cart to the side of the aisle. Do not park your cart in the middle of the aisle while your eyes search for an item on your list; clearly written in your wife's hand-writing.

2. Don't stress. I know you were sent to get a can of diced tomatoes. The fact that there are several brand names shouldn't confuse you to the tenth degree. Stop clogging up the aisle with your cart and your stupified look as you survey all the cans. Just pick one. Not necessarily the cheapest one either. Splurge a little for that pot of chili she's going to make for the family tonight.

3. Most of my frustration is experienced in the produce section. Here's a thought. Bag your fruits and vegetables. Don't let them roll around in the cart and then pile them on the conveyor belt at check-out. It's in everyone's best interest if you group your selections together.

4. When you do come across the roll of bags in the produce section, grab a whole bunch while you have your chance. That will prevent you from stationing your cart in front of the bins that everyone is trying to access while you aimlessly (with much bewilderment) search for a bag while walking around with six bruised apples in your hand, and a watermelon in the other.

5. Do not bag vegetables and fruits together in one bag. This creates a massive hold-up at check-out. Much appreciated.

One day, as I was in checkout waiting for a man to pile his sixteen oranges and twelve kiwis on the conveyer belt, I perused through a 'Bon Appetit' issue and came across the most amazing dessert. It is one I now treasure and make on special occasions. It was time well spent alongside the agony in watching him complete his purchase. So, to him, I say thank you. For the rest of you, I leave you with the recipe. It's a lot of work, but well worth it. Just like the man in your life.





Molten Lava Cakes

Sauce

• 4 1/2 ounces bittersweet (not unsweetened) or semisweet chocolate, chopped
• 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
• 1/3 cup hot water
• 1/4 cup light corn syrup
• 3/4 teaspoon peppermint extract

Cakes

• 5 ounces bittersweet (not unsweetened) or semisweet chocolate, chopped
• 10 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 3 large eggs
• 3 large egg yolks
• 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
• 1/2 cup all purpose flour

• Vanilla ice cream

For sauce:
Stir both chocolates in top of double boiler over barely simmering water until melted. Add 1/3 cup hot water, corn syrup and extract; whisk until smooth. Remove from over water. Cool slightly. (Can be made 2 days ahead. Cover; chill. Before serving, rewarm in saucepan over low heat, stirring constantly.)

For cakes:
Preheat oven to 450°F. Butter six 3/4-cup soufflé dishes or custard cups. Stir chocolate and butter in heavy medium saucepan over low heat until melted. Cool slightly. Whisk eggs and egg yolks in large bowl to blend. Whisk in sugar, then chocolate mixture and flour. Pour batter into dishes, dividing equally. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Cover; chill.)

Bake cakes until sides are set but center remains soft and runny, about 11 minutes or up to 14 minutes for batter that was refrigerated. Run small knife around cakes to loosen. Immediately turn cakes out onto plates. Spoon sauce around cakes. Serve with ice cream.

produce photo courtesy of Ron, Ron, Ron on flickr